Kitchen Table.

I'm sitting at my kitchen table and I'm drinking coffee from my favorite mug.

 I am home.

 It seems surreal to be back. All of a sudden I am back in a place that is so familiar, that no matter how long I've been away, it fits me like a glove. It is wonderful to be home, to see my family, to catch up on their lives. Like always, sitting around the kitchen table with endless pots of coffee [real coffee!] and sharing stories.

It will take a long time to process everything I have seen and experienced. I saw so much darkness, I saw hopelessness, and injustice. I saw suffering, oppression, and fear. But I also saw so much joy, I saw love given and received freely. I saw compassion and mercy. I saw the Light of Christ shining despite the darkness. I have learned so much about myself, my heart, my view of so many things have been changed, or refocused. I see the Justice of God in new ways, I see God as a merciful Father caring for the fatherless but my heart has been shaped in such a way that I see Him as a Just and Righteous God who is actively pursuing justice. I have learned so much about what missions really is, about what serving God and people really looks like on a day to day basis.

My heart is a sponge and I soaked everything up. I soaked up the people, the kids, and the culture. I soaked up everything that I have learned into my heart so that it becomes part of me, not just knowledge. My heart is a sponge and now it is full. My heart is so full that it threatens to burst. But at the same time, as wonderful as it is to be able to see my family, to hold them and not just see their faces on a computer screen, I left a large piece of my full overflowing heart in Greece. My heart is in two places now and it will take time to figure that out. I love Greece. I love the people. I love the culture. I love the food. But even if I hated the food and the culture and all I had was the people, my heart would still be torn in two. The ministry that I was apart of is in embedded in my heart.

But now I am home. I need to be present. I need to be all here, not that I will block out everything that I have seen and experienced, but that I will be content and have peace with being home.

The comfort of washing the dishes.

Sitting at my kitchen table.

Taking coffee to my dad as he reads.

Listening to rain.

BLT's, corn and fried okra.

These are things that make the adjustment easier. The everyday things that I missed out on. There is so much that I need to process and my sweet family is being patient with me. They know that for some things the words aren't there yet. I can't explain things, I just feel them. Time will tell. Time will reveal what I have learned, how I have been changed. Time will teach me how to be present here, but also what my role is in Greece. But for the time being,

 I am home.

Kalamos.

Our week at Kalamos was everything we thought it would be: dirt, water attacks, and lots of fun! We didn't anticipate the lack of sleep but that's part of the camp experience. The kids there were so excited to be there, Kalamos is what they live for, the highlight of their year. The camp is on the side of a mountain and it is covered in dirt, so by just being there you are covered in dirt! I was told that dumping water on peoples head was very popular, but I didn't know until I got there just how popular it was. There were days where I was damp or soaking wet the whole day. My clothes would almost dry but then I would get attacked again.  They call it "Booyellow" and it is a Greek word to describe the act of pouring water on someones head. The pastor of the 2nd Church was the director of the camp and it was his favorite thing to do. He had three rules for it: 1) it had to be unexpected 2) the water had to be very cold 3) it had to be annoying. This meant that he would wait until you had taken a shower and were clean and dry and then attack! He told us that once he had gotten his future mother-in-law, so after we heard that we knew that no one was safe!

Even though it was dirty and I was damp most of the time, it was a really great week! I loved getting to know the girls in my tent as best I could with the language barrier. There were eight girls in my tent and two tent leaders. The girls were 13-14 years old and they were the youngest group there. They taught me loads of Greek, and I even got to the level of whole sentences! They were so great and it was a joy to be around them all week. They had such a sweet spirit and they stuck together. They even cheered for me in my sad attempt at playing soccer!  I also loved getting to know the other counselors and helpers during breaks and the late night meetings.

The teaching was really great and I saw God working in the lives of the campers as they heard the Gospel everyday. I know that God is working in the lives of those kids to draw them to himself, to break down the walls they have put up, and to change their hearts. There were two kids from the community center that we worked with in Neos Kosmos that came to the camp and we were able to get to know them better and I am praying for what God will do in their lives. They are great kids and they could have a huge impact at the center and in their community.

Beth and I were in charge of games and while they didn't go how we had planned at all, they kids had fun. We filled up over 200 water balloons and they had a war, we taught them red rover and they had a blast (until someone got hurt), we played "lightening" and they tested their reflexes. But we never did as many as we had planned, and the games never went according to plan. But that's ok. We were able to be flexible and go with the flow, just like the Greeks.

It was a great week. We left exhausted, with a backpack full of dirty clothes, but we made some wonderful friends and we were sad to leave. 

Rest.

Last week we ended our time at Nea Zoi by going out on outreach and joining the teams that went into the brothels. I appreciated the role we had as the prayer support on the previous outreaches as well as the Nigerian outreach because it helped to prepare me to go into the brothels. God’s timing is perfect and the day before I received a letter from my family with these verses:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual force of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day and having done all, stand firm.

-Ephesians 6:10-13

Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times in every way.

-2 Thessalonians 3:16

My knees were shaking as I walked up the stairs to the first one, but I had those verses in my head. Over and over I thought “God is peace Himself and he gives it to me at all times and in every way.” When I came out Beth said that she had been praying and I remembered the times I had stood outside praying for the teams that were inside. I knew that I was covered in prayer. The darkness in the brothels is so dense both physically and spiritually. But those prisons still cannot keep out the light. I gave juice and cookies to the girls and madams and Daniela did the talking. It was such a small thing to do, in many ways, just offering physical nourishment but I trust that God uses the small simple things to display His glory. I am reminded once again that I am a link in the chain, that God began His work in these girls lives long before I came to Greece, and He will continue to work in the lives of those He has called, long after I have left. Because He doesn’t stop working, He doesn’t give up half way through. I was able to have peace, the kind of peace that you know comes from the Lord because there is no reason I should have peace when I am in the worst part of town, watching people do drugs in broad day light, and going into brothels. But I did have peace because God gave it to me, and I was able to rest in the knowledge that the battle has already been won. The evil that was all around couldn’t touch me because I was in the Light. My heart still hurts for those girls, for the girls that we met on the Nigerian outreach. But I celebrate what God is doing, providing a job for one of the girls so that she can leave prostitution, and I can pray. My role was not to go in and convince every girl I met to leave. My role was to offer juice and cookies, pray for them, and that’s the part God gave me in His story of redemption through Nea Zoi.

The theme of the last two weeks was rest. We have been doing so much that it's hard to make yourself slow down and get the rest and sleep you need to continue.  We drove to the island of Evia and got away from the business of Athens. Once again, it was amazing to have the time and space to think and process. It was much needed and we enjoyed just being together. We read, journaled, and discussed Generous Justice by Tim Keller, we have been reading it as a group and it was been great to see how it fits together so well with what we have been doing and wrestling with this summer. 

We had some adventures as well, I tried grilled octopus that looked like it has been in the sea only minutes before it was on the plate. Beth and I went snorkeling and we able to see all kinds of sea creatures. It was amazing and the water was so quiet. Then it was time to leave and what should have been a three hour drive home (at the most) turned into a ten hour drive, with eight hours on the same dirt road, driving up and down every mountain on the island. The road was littered with large rocks and there were several times that I was sure we would pop a tire. I fell asleep, only to wake up to a donkey outside my window. When a car would pass by (one every few hours or so) Philip asked for directions and most of the time the people laughed when they heard where we were trying to go, not very reassuring. The road was occasionally blocked by goat herds. Finally we got off the island and back to Athens. Definitely an adventure! 

The next day was Beth’s birthday and we celebrated with crepes, and then we went to a bookstore to escape the 105 degree heat. When it was cooler we picked up Beth’s free kilo of gelato from one of our favorite gelato places. 

These last few days we spent camping outside of Nafplio with Courtney and Tolis. It was different to camp on a beach instead of in the woods like I’m used to in the States, but it was great!  In the evenings we would play card games, tell stories, go for walks, and look at stars. It is impossible to see stars when you are in Athens and I forgot how bright and beautiful they are. We laughed and teased each other, and enjoyed just being able to sit and talk. Nafplio is a beautiful, quiet village with colorful doors and vibrant flowers along every alley. The rest has been so good. Good for my soul as well as my body. 

This is good because in the morning Beth and I head to Kalamos, a camp that has three sections, a boys section, a girls section, and a youth section. We will be at the youth section and will be running the games. From what I’ve heard you are simultaneously covered in dirt and water the whole time. One of the favorite pranks is to pour buckets of water on each other and the camp is on the side of a mountain, covered in dirt. I’m sure it will be a blast! For many of the kids that come to Kalamos, if they are from an Orthodox family, or Albanian, it is the only time of the year that they here the Gospel and are around other believers. While I have been in Greece I have met many people who became Evangelical Christians through Kalamos, or camps like it in other parts of Greece. I am very

excited to see what happens this year and to see God opening up hearts.

Nea Zoi.

Last week was full of Nea Zoi. They have been in the process of moving and so on Tuesday we cleaned the carpets at the new office. The carpets were covered with dust and bits of plaster from construction. The vacuum cleaner broke just as we arrived. Martha, the director of Nea Zoi was on her hands and knees sweeping up the debris with a dust broom. Even though they were going to bring a vacuum the next day and someone was coming to clean the carpet, that’s where she was. So that’s what we did, because it was what needed doing. God graciously gave me a servant’s heart, and I was surprised at the end, looking back, that I didn’t question the job we were given. Yes, someone was going to bring a vacuum cleaner the next day. Yes, it was incredibly slow sweeping the carpets. Yes, it was hot. But that’s what needed doing and it was just as important to the ministry at Nea Zoi than if we were going on an outreach.

The next day, Wednesday, we went out on outreach. It was very different than the first time. The first time, all I could see was the pain, the brokenness, and the oppression. It was good for me to see and it broke my heart and made me ache for the healing and restoration that only Jesus can bring. But that was all I saw. I just saw the ugliness of it all. I hated that they had perverted the symbol of light into something that signalize an open brothel. But Wednesday was different. I went and I saw everything that I saw the first time but I saw it through the eyes of hope. I was so confident in the power of the Gospel, and so confident in the healing and restoration that God is doing that instead of my heart aching, I had peace. I was able to have peace, even standing outside a brothel, because I knew that God was working and using the conversations that the teams were having to further the work of Christ in the girl’s lives. That day the teams of two that went into the brothels were able to have long conversations, and many of the girls or madams asked for Bibles. Also, instead of feeling sick and being filled with hatred as I watched the men go in and out, I prayed for them. 

Praying changes everything. 

After the outreach when we were having a debrief, someone mentioned a man named Yanis. He owns more than 5 brothels and is also involved in trafficking. At first I didn’t think much about it, just another brothel owner. But then I started thinking about how much of a difference it would make if he came to know Christ. It would dramatically affect not only the girls, but also that area. I started thinking about Paul’s conversion and the testament to the power of the Gospel that it changes hearts and lives of people that are in complete opposition to it. 

So I’m praying for Yanis, the brothel owner. I’m praying that God will melt his stony heart, just like He melted Paul’s. Just like He melted mine.

Thursday after a long day of moving the Nea Zoi office, which meant carrying boxes up and down four flights of stairs, we decided to go on the Friday morning outreach to Nigerian girls. Most of these girls have been trafficked and they don’t have papers, so they can’t work in the brothels. Instead they work on the street. For years they had all been working on a street named Scratous, 30-60 girls all along one street. The outreach team had been praying for years for God to do something on Scatous. We walked down the street at 4:30am on Friday morning, and it was completely empty. No one was there, and the hotels that they would use were locked up because they had closed down. The police have started to crack down on prostitution on the street which meant that the girls have scattered throughout the city. It is much harder to find them now to do outreach but God answers prayer, and He did something on Scratous. We drove around and were able to meet and talk with a few girls. Some of them had never heard of Nea Zoi and one girl wanted to talk with Rosie about getting a job because she wanted to leave, and several of the girls asked for Bibles. Now I have names and faces to pray for, it makes it real to meet these girls and talk with them, even if it’s just to offer them ice cream or water. We got back around 6am and before I went back to sleep, I sat out on the roof of the church and watched the sun come up over Hadrian’s Arch. It was slow and gradual and then all of a sudden, the sky was radiant and bursting with light. It was healing to have the light wash over me after experiencing the darkness. God is light and He cannot be kept back. He comes out with force, with power, with radiance and beauty.

 “God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all”- 1 John 1:5

God’s resurrection power cannot be held back by the darkness, the darkness does not have any power. God is working, healing, restoring, and bringing His people to Himself. Even though the girls have scattered, God’s love and mercy shall pursue those that are His to the ends of the earth.

Recent Happenings

Last weekend we went to the island of Aegina to get some much needed rest. The island was incredibly beautiful and the water was so blue, it could have been the Caribbean. We ate delicious food, of course, but I didn’t have any of the Greek seafood which consists of octopus and squid. We also rented scooters and went all over the island, along the coast and up into the mountains. We also climbed a small mountain that overlooked the whole island, but when we started out we didn’t know that the mountain was covered in thorns. But it was well worth the scratches when we got to the top!

That night, while the others swam in the sea, I sat out on the balcony and watched the sunset over the sea. I read and journaled and it was one of those moments where you want to remember every detail of, what you hear, see, and feel. The words to my favorite hymn came to my mind and I knew that it was true. “It is well with my soul.” It wasn’t being on the island. It was having the time and the space to process what I have seen and learned. Everything that I have been a part of has shown me something about God and something about my own heart. Whether its cleaning a carpet, making animal balloons, or doing outreach at Nea Zoi, it shows me my sin and God’s abundant grace.

This last week was the last week of the festivals and with the last night getting closer and closer I started just watching, listening, and soaking up the joy that was around me. I looked around me and I knew the faces of almost all of the kids, the same kids were there that came the first night. They get so excited when you speak Greek to them, even if its just asking what color of string they want for their bracelet. These kids get so excited over a painting contest, or making bracelets for the third time. It doesn’t matter what it is, they love it. They don’t need big spashy entertainment, just a bucket, a sponge and some competition and they will have a blast. On the last night everyone stood around after everything was over and talked and took pictures. No one wanted the night to end. It felt like the end of summer camp.

Yesterday, Beth and I were tourists for the day. We walked around with map and camera in hand just to fit in. We went to the Acropolis and from the top we were able to find the 1^st Church (where we live). We went to the Areopogus and we read Acts 17. It was amazing to see the Acropolis from the hill and know that it was the same view that Paul had when he gave his speech. Then we got lost trying to find the Ancient Agora and in the mean time stumbled upon the Roman Agora. By the time we found it, it was closed. But we had an adventure, just like everything has been since we got here.

The last few days through my eyes:

On the ferry, sailing towards the island.

Island water.

"Look over there!"

View from the top of the mountain we climbed.

Looking at the island from a bids eye view

One of my buddies from the festivals

Merina, who gave the best hugs every night

Beth and I with our friend Rei.

The Parthenon. 

Jumping picture at the Acropolis?  Of course.

Acts 17: 22-23 at the Areopogus

Festivals, Faces, and Feelings

This last week and a half has been full of some many different things, places and emotions.

The festivals have started and when we arrive at the square there are always kids waiting for us. They run and hug us and ask what craft we will do, or what games we will play. The square is always filled with laughter and screaming, and no matter what we do, the kids go crazy over it. Whether it’s a painting contest, making bracelets and hats out of newspaper, or water balloon fights, they all want to do it over and over. They don’t just paint one picture, they paint five. Over a hundred kids come out to the square and most of them come back every day. One little boy, named Rei, comes to the square out of breath from running the whole way there. He is so happy when we do crafts that he does them as fast as he can, then runs to give it to me and then runs back to start a new one. These kids glow under the love and attention that they get from us and in turn I am filled with joy because of them. A lot of these kids come from the community center that Courtney and Tolis started to give kids a place to come and grow and just be kids. They have built amazing relationships with the kids and love them as their own.

 In the mornings we divide our time between helping at a homeless ministry and helping at Nea Zoi. At the homeless ministry we boxed up lunches to pass out and gave clothes to people. One of the biggest impacts it had on me was the attitude of the lady I was helping hand out clothes. She wanted to make sure that anything we gave out was clean, with no holes or stains. She even tried to put together outfits for the women. She would not give anything that she would not wear herself. She treated them with such dignigty and respect that it challenged me to do the same.

Nea Zoi (New Life) is a ministry that seeks to build relationships with girls that work in prostitution. We were given an orientation yesterday and we were able to get a lot of information about the problem of trafficking in Greece as well as how Nea Zoi seeks to help the girls in it. It is completely overwhelming just to hear the information. We saw a map of an area and it had dots where all the brothels were, the map was covered in dots. Today, we went out on an outreach. Beth and I went as support for the groups actually going into the brothels. We stayed outside and prayed while the groups went in to talk with the girls and give them tea and cookies. My heart hurts for them, I was reminded of a line in a song that says “Break my heart for what breaks Yours” and that has definitely happened.

At the orientation Vicki reminded us of the parable of the lost coin. The woman searches her whole house and turns it upside down to look for a small coin, because it had worth and value. Then when she finds it she invites all of her neighbors to a party to celebrate her finding the lost coin. Vicki said that the thing about a coin is that it has two sides, one side with an image and the other with its worth. We are all image bearers and we all have worth that cannot be taken away. That is why we give the best clothes we have to the homeless person, because they have value and worth. That is why we build relationships with girls who are being prostituted, because their value is not a price that can be bought with money.

I am overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings going on inside me, but God is working and is chipping my heart away so that I see people as He sees them so that I can love them as He loves them. 

Two weeks later.

The Akropoli. The view from our apartment in Athens.

Two weeks after arriving in Greece I still have to remind myself to take deep breaths. There are so many things that threaten to overwhelm me but so far I'm holding on. When we arrived, Beth and I got a brief introduction to Athens before we headed to Volos, Greece for a week an a half. Volos is a beautiful coastal town with beautiful people as well. My time there spent learning, learning and more learning. 

Volos.

I learned so many things from the pastor there, Meletis. I the first thing I learned  about was service and the difference that picking up trash can have on a community. We picked up trash on the highway and in a neighborhood and Meletis told us about the impact that the simple act of picking up trash has had on the community, it has opened doors with the Greek Orthodox Church that would be unheard of in other parts of Greece. I am so thankful that I got to be apart of it, we would be sweaty, filthy and exhausted each day but we were joyful because of what we were doing. Their approach to picking up the trash captured my heart: God created this world for His own glory and the trash represents our glory and our materialism. Creation groans because of the way we treat it and picking up the trash is a redemptive work and honoring what God created.

Inside an Orthodox church.

Another thing I learned, and will keep learning about for the rest of my time here in Greece, was about the Greek Orthodox Church. Greece is a very dark place spiritually even though it is considered a Christian nation. There are roughly 8,400 Greek Orthodox churches in Athens. There are roughly 5 Greek Evangelical churches in Athens. The more I learn about it, the more my heart aches for the Greek people. Everyone is Orthodox here, to be Orthodox is the same as being Greek for most people. Evangelicals are considered heretics. Orthodox people want to become holy through good deeds and kissing icons, and then they can have a relationship with God. A few days ago, I went in an Orthodox church and I watch one man kiss about twenty icons and cross himself and my heart hurt for him because he thought that kissing icons was a necessary step to become right with God. Another things I saw was the "Holy of Holies" where only the bishop can go. The doorway was covered by a black heavy curtain and an iron gate. It shook me up that they have a physical barrier between the people and communion with God. They don't understand that the curtain has been torn. 

On a lighter note, our days in Volos were filled with wonderful food, wonderful people, and wonderful sights. We ate our weight in fresh peaches and cherries from Meletis' village, amazing salad with whole slabs of feta on top, fresh bread, and ice cream everyday. We spent so many hours around the table talking, laughing and building relationships. The people from the church were so kind and welcoming and invited us into their lives to take part in what every they were doing, like watching the Euro Cup, going on walks, or taking us to the mountain villages where there are no cars, only donkeys. They taught us some Greek words, and were so patient with our mispronunciation of it. Beth and I now know about 15 words, but we are learning more everyday.  Volos is absolutely beautiful, it has a port with fishing boats all lined up, each with a Greek flag waving in the breeze. It also has amazing beaches with water so blue, you can't tell where the water ends, and the sky begins.

The sea. I jumped off of that big rock!

Laiki (market)

Deep Breath.

I am so thankful for these last few weeks.
They have given me a chance to breathe, process, relax and decompress. I have enjoyed my family in an intense way because I knew I had such a short time with them. I have crammed everything I love about summer into these three weeks.

Morning coffee and reading on the patio.

Family gatherings.

Corn, okra, dirt beans, and so many avocados.

So many pots of coffee and conversations around the kitchen table.

Trips to Huntsville and Chattanooga.

Being still.

Being silly.

Slowing down.

Sunshine.

Watching the lightning bugs coming out at night.

Driving with my windows down. 

Pool time with the Samster. 

And now the time has come...

Time to go.

Time to change.

Time to grow.

I am so incredibly excited. I might just burst. Usually this heart bursting feeling is only reserved for Christmas but Greece has become a huge part of my heart these days and I know the feeling will only explode when I actually go in a few short days.

¹⁰ 

"As the rain and the snow

    come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

    without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish, 

    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 

¹¹ 

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

    It will not return to me empty, 

but will accomplish what I desire

    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

¹² 

You will go out in joy 

    and be led forth in peace; 

the mountains and hills

    will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field

    will clap their hands. 

¹³ 

Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,

    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the Lord’s renown, 

    for an everlasting sign,

    that will endure forever.”

-Isaiah 55:9-13

This is my prayer. This is my strength. This is happening. 

Deep breath. 

It's time!

Leaving, Goodbyes, and Embracing Change

Change has always been a struggle for me. Its something that I fight against with clinched fists. I hide from change and creep out when the hardest part of change is over. This year has been a flood of grace in my life and full of wonderful moments with the people I love and I want to keep them forever, like snapshots. I have been trying savor those moments, savor the time I had left instead being anxious about time running out, or seeing the end of the year as the end of goodness and grace in my life. 

When it came down to the last week, finals were over and I spent all of my time soaking up those moments.  Anna Clare, Emo, Lyss and I made friendship bracelets. We talked about what our hopes and fears were for the summer, read and prayed together.[savor] Sleeping on Jungle's balcony with Leah and waking up to the sound of wind and birds, instead of an alarm clock. [savor] Having coffee under an umbrella in the rain with a good friend. [savor] 

I thought saying goodbye would be hard but I had a whole year's worth these moments, these snapshots to treasure. 

Fall Break road trip to New York, reading Bittersweet, listening to Josh Garrels, and learning how to love each other better.

Advent, Christmas lights with the roommates, and having the perfect Starbucks moment.

Seeing new life[my nephew Sam] come into the world before my eyes.

And watching him grow week by week.

Jungle. So many beautiful faces and beautiful hearts.

Getting lost for three hours and then having a picnic on the bluff.

So proud.

On the last night that Emo, Lyss, Anna Clare and I were together, possibly the last time we would all be together for a year, we read this to eachother:

"I could not have know then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like the seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when  it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently. Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were at the beginning.

My prayer for you is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter...My hope for you is that your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you...It might be time for to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back.

It is you who will have changed. " -Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

When I left school, I was ready to go home, ready to change, ready to say goodbye. Change is the only way that new life, new growth happens. If I don't change I become stagnant. I will always be thankful for this year, for the friends God put into my life, for the growth that God has done and for the blessings that he has lavished on me. But I am not grieving its end, because I know that the people who have my heart will always be in my life, even if its across an ocean. I know that God will continue the work he is doing in me. I'm excited for the change and savoring the process instead of hiding from it. 

Rain.

Rain brings two images into my head.

One picture is of a light summer drizzle. The kind of rain that comes unexpectedly but is always welcome, even if its in the middle or a picnic. The kind of rain that nourishes the thirsty ground and enables new life to spring up from the ground. This kind of rain is light and constant, and perfect for dancing in. 

The other kind of rain is intense. This kind of rain brings storms and even floods. It overwhelms everything it touches, it grabs life by the roots and if its not firmly planted, it will get carried away. This kind of rain is scary, in a wondrous sort of way. It gets your attention. 

I have had a season of summer rain. God raining his grace into my life in a constant, life-giving  sort of way. I have been growing, growing, growing from the amount of grace in my life. This grace has come through all sorts of places and it's been wonderful. My heart was so full, there were times when I thought it would burst. 

And then the storm came. God's grace was still raining into my life, but it was raining so hard that it hurt. It overwhelmed me, grabbed me at the root and threatened to carry me away. It washed away the things I was clinging to so tightly, revealing my heart and leaving me bruised and hurting. 

Both kinds of rain are necessary for me to grow. There are times when I need to dance in the rain and other times when I need to have the things I cling too pulled out from under me.  Both kinds are good. So I'm soaking up the rain, soaking up God's grace in my life.

"Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me"